That damn squirrel

If it isn't some love birds or wrens trying to turn my barbecue grill in to a nest, it's the squirrel and his pals in the constant battle to feed on the bird feed.

I've done everything, from wire-meshing the feeders to purchasing those special bird feeders where the outside cage sinks down to close the feeder openings when a squirrel climbs atop of it. But the squirrel is no idiot. They carefully gnaw through the plastic to open a hole. The eat the plastic straps to drop the feeder to the ground and then rip it to pieces. They even figured out how to lift the top (where you fill the feeder with bird seed) and then dislodge the springs that hold the top and the cage up around the feeder.

And they feast. That plastic feeder was about $12 from Lowes, Menards, Home Depot. They're all the same. But now I bought the Cadillac of feeders with metal holders and metal top and metal cage that puts distance between the inner plastic feeder and the squirrel's mischievous snout. It cost $29 bucks. Imagine, For a bird feeders.

The bird houses are worthless. They look cute but quickly are assaulted by the squirrels like Navy Seals on Osama Bin Laden's Pakistani hideout.

And they don't care that I'm out there when they do it. They eat and stare, making me walk up to them to scare them away. But they're not scared.

Who are these people who design this crap that they sell at Lowes, Menards and Home Depot? None of the designers have any idea how to design the perfect squirrel proof feeder. I think if you are going to design something, you need to have experience with the problem first. But like a lot of computer programmers who design programs that satisfy their ideas on what the public wants -- but that the public doesn't want -- these worthless gadgets are ineffective.

Too bad the manufacturers sell this crap and we consumers waste our precious dollars. I mean, we can't afford to waste money can we these days? We have to pay $90 to fill the gas tank.

-- Ray Hanania
www.TheMediaOasis.com